Joke Of The Day

YBB's joke of the day says 'I know you must have missed me, i am here this beautiful Tuesday afternoon to crack ya ribs and ease today's  work tension.' Find today's joke below and remember not to roll on the floor while laughing.

CONFESSION OF A LADY

I ate 3 plates of beans (which I know I shouldn't). When I got to my fiancés' place for dinner, he seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly, 'darling I have a surprise for you tonight'! 

He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinning table.I took a seat, and  just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until

he returned,  and went to answer the call.                                         

The beans I had consumed started affecting me and the pressure was becoming unbearable. 

Saudi Arabia To Recruit 8 New Executioners As Beheading Rate Soars

Saudi Arabia is advertising for eight new executioners, recruiting extra staff to carry out an increasing number of death sentences, usually done by public beheading.

The Guardian, UK, reported that no special qualifications are needed for the jobs whose main role is “executing a judgment of death” but also involve performing amputations on those convicted of lesser offences, the advert, posted on the civil service jobs portal, said.

The Islamic kingdom is in the top five countries in the world for putting people to death, rights groups say. It ranked third in 2014, after China and Iran, and ahead of Iraq and the United States, according to Amnesty International figures.

Motorcycles, Tricycles Burnt As Okada Riders, NURTW Officials Clash In Lagos

There was confusion in the NNPC area of Ejigbo in Lagos State, on Monday, when fight erupted between motorcycle riders and members of the National Union of Road Transport Workers (NURTW) over fees.

However, the police on Monday evening said it had restored normalcy to the  area.

It was gathered that the fracas resulted from an increase in the fees officials of the NURTW charged commercial motorcyclists.

Gun Men Kill Plateau Traditional Leader

Farmers in Wase Local Government Area of Plateau State have recovered the corpse of Galadima of Saluwe, Isiaka Adamu, who was killed by yet-to-be identified gunmen.

The 62-year-old traditional leader in the council area was found dead at the weekend after his assailants shot and amputated his limbs.

The victim, said to be a security guard at Wase local government secretariat, was suspected to have been killed by thugs, according to Plateau State Youth Council, PSYC, chairman for Wase, Yusuf Mohammed.

Lagos Assembly Honours Airport Cleaner With Special Section

Lagos State Assembly, on Monday, at a Special Session honoured Miss. Josephine Ugwu the cleaner, who returned the sum of N12 million in foreign currencies she found at the Murtala Mohammed International Airport (MMIA, Ikeja, to the airport security, in January.

It will be recalled that the House, had weeks ago, invited Ugwu to the House when a lawmaker who read the story in a national newspaper, brought the matter to the notice of his colleagues at plenary, under Matter of Urgent Public Importance.

Ugwu was presented a letter of commendation and undisclosed sum of money “for her act of honesty and patriotism for returning the sum N12 million on Friday, January 23, 2015,” while the House also expressed its appreciation to her.

Sambo, Wife Beg For Forgiveness

Vice President Namadi Sambo and his wife, Amina, on Monday, urged those they offended to forgive them.

The vice president, who spoke to newsmen shortly after a valedictory meeting with his supporting members of staff, at Aguda House, Abuja, said he had forgiven all those he had interracted with in the last five years.

According to him, he had enjoyed good and cordial working relationship with all his supporting members of staff.

Police Arraign 4 For Fighting In Public

Police in Ogun State yesterday arraigned four men, including Dada Sunday (22), Oguntola Dare (25), Adetipe Solomon (23) and Adetipe Michael (18), before an Ota Magistrates’ Court for allegedly fighting in public.

The accused persons, whose addresses were unknown, according to the News Agency of Nigeria (NAN), were being prosecuted on a three-count charge of fighting in public, causing breach of peace and conspiracy.

Police Bust Kidnap Syndicate In Imo

The Imo State Police Command has  bust a five-man kidnap gang that allegedly kidnapped a Catholic priest in the state.

Also, operatives of the  command shot dead one of the suspects, while the kingpin known as “Bush” escaped.

Addressing journalists yesterday, at the state Police Command headquarters while parading the suspects, the Police Public Relations Officer, Mr. Andrew Enwerem ( DSP), identified  the suspects as Obinna, Ibewuchi Uzo, who was  shot dead, Celestine and Frank.

Five Men Plan To Trek To Mecca For Buhari

A group of five married men have vowed to trek from Nigeria to Saudi Arabia to show solidarity to the president elect General Muhammadu Buhari and to thank Allah for winning the 2015 presidential elections. 

Speaking with newsmen in Bauchi yesterday, the five men-Mohammed Inuwa, 45, Dahiru Aminu, 33, Abdullahi Usseini, 45, Abubakar Danjuma, 45, and Kabiru Saleh , 35, said that their decion to embark on the trek to Saudi Arabai was informed by their deep love for the general.

ASUU Protests In Ekiti, Threatens Strike Over Member’s Kidnap

The Academic Staff Union of Universities, Ekiti State University chapter,  yesterday protested in Ado Ekiti over incessant kidnapping of its members in the state. The union also gave the state government till Friday, May 22 , to rescue the victims or force its members to commence indefinite strike.

The body lamented that   five of its members had been kidnapped at various locations in the state within two weeks , out of which two had been released  to look for  N210 million ransom  demanded  for the release of other three hostages.

Some of the placards paraded during the protest read: “ASUU say no to kidnapping,” Kidnapping is a Crime Against Humanity,” ASUU demands unconditional release of members,” “Ensure safety of lives and property,’’ among others.

Davido Spotted At His Babymama's Baby Shower

Well I posted the news of the arrival of Davido's first child here. Davido was present at his baby mama's baby-shower which held a few weeks ago.

After Coup Attempt, Burundi President Fires 3 Ministers

An official says Burundi’s president has fired his defense minister and two other Cabinet ministers after a failed coup attempt.

Presidential spokesman Gervais Abayeho said President Pierre Nkurunziza on Monday fired Defense

At Least 61 Dead In Colombia Landslide

A massive landslide tore through a ravine in northwest Colombia Monday before dawn, killing at least 61 people and injuring 37, authorities said.

Most residents were sleeping when the landslide hit the municipality of Salgar around 3:00 am, burying a large area in mud and debris.

The rush of mud and water "tore down everything in its path," Salgar Mayor Olga Osorio told RCN Radio.

The small town of Santa Margarita was practically "wiped off the map," she said.

Senators, Reps Move Belongings Out Of Offices

Some senators and House of Representatives members complied with the National Assembly management’s directive on Monday by moving their personal items out of their various offices in the Federal Parliament.

The National Assembly management on Monday had issued a procedural directive to the lawmakers to remove their personal belongings in order to prepare the offices for re-allocation in the weeks ahead.

On Monday utility vehicles owned by the lawmakers packing away refrigerators, television sets, tables, chairs, rugs, books, pictures, computers and other electronic items.

Court Orders GTB To Refund Customer’s N5.3bn

A High Court of the Federal Capital Territory in Apo, Abuja, on Monday ordered Guaranty Trust Bank Plc to refund N5.3bn illegally withdrawn from the account of one its customers, Dr. Ted Edwards.

Justice Valentine Ashi, in his judgment, ordered that the N5.3bn should attract 10 per cent interest from Monday, when judgment was delivered, till the time the money was paid back to the owner.

The court also ordered that the money should attract another 21 per cent interest from December 12, 2014 when GTB allowed the illegal withdrawal, until the fund was eventually paid back to Edwards.

Newspaper Threatens To Sue PDP Over N7m Advert Debt

PDP National Chairman Mu'azu

The New Telegraph newspapers has petitioned the Peoples Democratic Party Chairman, Adamu Mu’azu, over the refusal of the disbanded PDP Presidential Declaration Committee to settle a N6.9m advertisement debt.

The media organisation threatened to institute a legal action against the PDP, if it fails to settle the debt within two weeks.

The media outfit in the petition by a Kaduna-based lawyer, Festus Okoye, alleged that the committee headed by Senator Aniete Okon failed to settle advertisements bill it placed in several newspapers on December 24, 2014.

Today's Newspaper Headlines : Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Tuesday headlines from selected newspapers for your reading pleasure. Have a wonderful working Tuesday.

VANGUARD

• PDP crisis: Fashola calls for vibrant opposition
• IG's squad arrests five policemen, 98 others over Edo cult war
• PDP rigged S-East election massively ' Kalu
• NGF: Governors broker truce as Shettima emerges chairman
• APC unveils Buhari policy roadmaps
• 4 siblings die in Anambra candle fire
• Locating Nigeria's four topmost offices in one area untenable 'Uduaghan
• Judiciary workers in Edo defy govt order to resume work
• Minimal Presidential Disruptions
• Speakership tussle: APC Reps 'll checkmate PDP's antics ' Oladele, Reps-elect
• Buhari should step in now to stop zoning controversy ' Grp Capt Latinwo (rtd)
• Kaduna: Doubts about Debts
• With Buhari, hard work 'll now pay ' Cally Ikpe
• Discos deny indigenous prepaid meter producers patronage ' BoI boss
• Operators call for intervention on costs cut, CBN dollar policy
• Vandalism: Sambo urges protection of power facilities
• Oil glut worsens as OPEC market share battle begins ' Report
• OTC: Cautious optimism, commendation trail participation
• GE completes Shell's subsea tree refurbishment 'Achieves 40% growth
• FG reiterates commitment to regulate use of explosives
• Universal Energy commences commercial oil production at Stubb Creek
• Ethiopia's electric power coverage reaches 55%
• Top 10 performing stocks
• Enugu: Intrigues, permutations, as politicians jostle for PDP chair
• Why die for government
• The Petroleum Industry Bill: A Call for Prudence and Circumspection
• Turkey and the cost of presidential 'insults
• Politics and development of Bayelsa state
• Military as victim of malicious campaign on BBOG Platform
• Homebase deploys IBM commerce solution to boost online shopping

Nicki Minaj & Beyonce ‘Feeling Myself’ Video Debuts With Sexy Costumes & Dance Moves

Nicki Minaj, 32, and Beyonce, 33, just released the highly anticipated music video for their smash, “Feeling Myself,” and it’s everything we could ever imagine and more!

Rocking sexy costumes in an in-your-face display of confidence and sass, the rapper and Blue Ivy‘s mom exceed any and all expectations fans ever had for this epic clip as they’ve passionately expressed on social media.

4 Siblings Die In Anambra Candle Fire

Tragedy struck yesterday in Omuko village, Awka, Awka South Local Government Area of Anambra State, as four children of same parents were burnt to death when their one-bedroom apartment was set on fire by a candle.

The parents of the children, who are  from Ebonyi State, were not around when the disaster occurred in the middle of the night.

The victims, whose names were given as Ikechukwu, 9; Chinonso, 7; Chisom, 5 and Chioma were rushed to Nnamdi Azikiwe University Teaching Hospital, Nnewi, but did not survive as they finally gave up on Sunday morning.

Air Force Men Beat FAAN Official Comatose

An official of the Federal Airports Authority of Nigeria, FAAN, was yesterday beaten unconscious by two Nigerian Air Force officers in charge of traffic control at the departure section of the international terminal wing of Murtala Muhammed Airport, Lagos.

The FAAN staff, Mohammed Shuaibu, who works at the protocol and passages of the agency, had told his friend to pick him at the airport but when he arrived, the airmen attempted to remove the number plates of his car.